by Amanda Blain
Back in November, I noticed that the lymph node beneath my right mandible was enlarged. It was double the size of a large grape. This discovery was made just a few days after feeling my entire energetic system crash and a deep achiness beneath my chin.
On a physical pain scale, the achiness was a 6, but it was accompanied by the exhaustion of being overburdened, the agony of being unsupported, and a very old familiar feeling of personal irrelevance.
My intuition told me to stop working, to slow down, to remove all distractions, and to rest my awareness with my own being. I knew that a current of old, suppressed, emotional pain was springing forth for release.
I have been engaged in a personal healing journey since 2012. First, I healed the viral belief systems that had plagued my mind for so long. Beliefs such as, "I've got to fit society's model for achievement in order to be happy," and "I need to have this, and that, in order to feel complete," and "There's always a clear 'right' and 'wrong' in life."
In this phase of transitioning into a more authentic existence, I often sang these words from a song by my favorite band (Phish):
"I've been waiting for the time that I can finally say, 'this has all been wonderful, now I'm on my way.'"